Fotografia

SEE...THIS HAPPENED ON SUNDAY!!!

Today I decided that I wasn't sit around while my parents rested. Today was my day off and I wanted to do something but it just seems like Sundays are the kind of days where everyone either has plans or is in a couch potato mood. That is a huge problem about living in the suburbs in a city that sounds amazing on TV and the magazines but in reality, we are the kind of city that Hollywood won't even think about thinking for a next big sucky movie.

Well it just so happens that my mom made it her job to make some things unreachable but my mind works where in those situations, I want to have the unreachable.

Our pictures are in that kind of setting...
They happen to be in a box in a closet with a bunch of crap on top...!!!
Then I regretted going through all that trouble to get my hands on those albums...
There is absolutely no stage of my life, no person or place that I don't remember.

The funny thing is to believe that that girl was me at some point...Like, "OMG, I looked like that!" or "I remember that" and even "Oh yeah, that's her, I know him!"

And I don't believe it...

The worse part was when I bumped into pictures of people who are physically and emotionally absent in my life.

At that split second, when the moment was captured, everyone in that picture was physically there. At that moment, the situation was real. I was there and I remember every detail but it just doesn't feel real. NONE OF IT!!! I feel as if the present me is the only kind of me that ever existed.

I was there...




I WAS THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




I lived that, I felt that, I said that, I did that, and I know it for a fact, I really do!

Everything is that captured moment is real and the people and the things and the place. EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!

Then I realized how limited my mind is to present reality.

Topping it off with the fact that I've gone through some major changes physically and emotionally...

Reason why I'm writing this...

Even the songs of the past carry these thoughts that set me down at my childhood. They are part of my past reality.

That is a picture, a past reality that becomes unreal because no matter how hard you try to relive that moment...the longer you stare, the more unreal it will become.



A fake memory that is reality...

Relief

I'm kinda mad at this machine because it keeps acting up... I think it needs a major checkup...

Well today was a good day at service and well just like always it could have been easier but I won't complain.

I think that the best part of today was that I was with a very dear sister and her daughters. I really like them a lot, and just like everyone they all have their slight flaws and whatever but that is not the real reason why I am so happy.

I mean like everyday you find out so many bad things due to our imperfections but in the end it was her words that really made me see things a little bit different. I had already talked to my parents about a recent situation that was making me very unhappy, and even though I can be hard to convince I found a peaceful state of mind in which I could simply just ignore the facts and keep going without wasting my breath.

She just simply made things better.

And she is very right. No matter what everyone says its them killing themselves, not me. So like she said, "Que se maten a pedos". Tough words and nasty too but its the truth.

My life just couldn't get better!

Its a hard time to love
reaching fear
where i dream freadom
i must be silent once more
my words are missing
where everyone speaks
i may be young
yet im not just half
of a plain feeling
im not echo but sound
just a period in the way
what you were once

see me, feel me
i am a reality
not a reflection
and wat i feel is not bad
im just a matter of time
see me, feel me
i am not a dream
im not a mirror
hear me, i am my own extension
im just a matter of time
its a hard time to love
if you make me, i’ll lie
i dont want to hurt you
i must be silent once more
just toughts
because its not time to speak
i may be young
yet im not just half
of a plain feeling
im not echo but sound
just a period in the way
what you were once
feel me, see me
i am a reality
not a reflection

...and wat i feel is not bad...