It was just a thought. One that I kept in my head. I looked up at the moon and absorbed your presence. When I saw the stars, I looked at the shimmer in your eyes that speak those words that only you and I know.
Then you asked me why
Well why not? It's you.
It is because you weren't afraid.
Because you make me laugh.
Because you wipe my tears.
Because you hold my hand when I'm afraid.
Because you never lie.
Because you gave me your friendship.
Because you trust me.
Because you teach me.
Because you advice me.
Because you care for me.
Because you make me reason.
Because you care for me.
Because you didn't let me go.
Because you want to be with me.
Because you're not easily tempered.
Because you are smart.
Because you make wise choices.
Because you enjoy life.
Because you are not judgmental.
Because you are not embarrassed.
Because I can look up to you.
Because you're ready to help.
Because you have disposition.
Because you defend the truth.
Because you're careful not to mess up.
Because you learn from your mistakes.
Because you give respect.
Because you are humble.
Because you are kind.
Because you are patient and give me your time.
Because you try to understand.
Because you try your best.
Because you lead the way.
Because you are sweet.
Because you embrace your surroundings.
Because you know when is the right time.
Because you let me keep up.
Because you decided to wait at all costs.
Because you love me unconditionally...
Meaning no matter what..
Meaning all the time...
Because you let me love you.
NOVEMBER 2ND, 2009
BY: Pink Lady
Monday, November 2, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Please Come Home
Sometimes, as I lay in bed waiting, I think. I'm not afraid to write this because no one will read it and bother to comment. I blog hoping someone will read it and care; but bloggers don't get that a lot because everything here is really an inside view on circumstances. The path that I stand in is not easy. I could simply not care and keep waiting. That's what we all do in general. We wait. We can wait a whole lifetime but things will keep changing. People change, ideas change, situations change, and feelings change. When it seems like the wait is over, something new will arise.
I wait.
I really wish we could see things differently. Be more lenient not so focused. There are things that by nature are more important. Things and people and situations that matter far more than others. Sad to think though that not all are easily granted. I want to think its for the best. I want to accept is as a protection. I want to see it as fear of losing. I want to believe it is an avoidance for criticism. But these things I don't care for, I despise them as much as I can possibly bear in my wits.
I don't think I'm meant to be governed by individuals who don't share my insight look on reality. Their minds are solely based on criticism and a lifestyle not lived. It is a lot harder because I know that being me is something I plainly don't wish anyone to be. It's dramatic. Dramatic hurts. The different angles you see are just reflections of bad decisions which I know I won't take. I'm not a child for sure. I'm independent.
Period.
Think of me as a bunch of just talk no action and you will find yourself in a big dilemma. Say what you want I know who I am. Sad to say that there is always someone worse than us. I could be dying or even worse, I could be in the world. Well I was already in the world. I know the lifestyle, the customs and beliefs. I see it everyday. I live in it and I know I'm not that bad but until the forty one million two hundred ninety nine thousand two hundred seconds of waiting are over, I promise to not rest in peace. I'll just wait. Hope and believe that it will come and when it does, I'll be free and happy forever.
I wait.
- I wait every night gripping to my last piece of hope. That's the one thing I haven't lost.
- I hate idealistic people simply because they are part of a world consisting of unreal things.
I really wish we could see things differently. Be more lenient not so focused. There are things that by nature are more important. Things and people and situations that matter far more than others. Sad to think though that not all are easily granted. I want to think its for the best. I want to accept is as a protection. I want to see it as fear of losing. I want to believe it is an avoidance for criticism. But these things I don't care for, I despise them as much as I can possibly bear in my wits.
I don't think I'm meant to be governed by individuals who don't share my insight look on reality. Their minds are solely based on criticism and a lifestyle not lived. It is a lot harder because I know that being me is something I plainly don't wish anyone to be. It's dramatic. Dramatic hurts. The different angles you see are just reflections of bad decisions which I know I won't take. I'm not a child for sure. I'm independent.
Period.
Think of me as a bunch of just talk no action and you will find yourself in a big dilemma. Say what you want I know who I am. Sad to say that there is always someone worse than us. I could be dying or even worse, I could be in the world. Well I was already in the world. I know the lifestyle, the customs and beliefs. I see it everyday. I live in it and I know I'm not that bad but until the forty one million two hundred ninety nine thousand two hundred seconds of waiting are over, I promise to not rest in peace. I'll just wait. Hope and believe that it will come and when it does, I'll be free and happy forever.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The Irony of Circumstances
Day 512
It’s funny how things just happen. Take for instance my job. The dilemma of quitting came to a resolution after I was scheduled to work on Sunday. That was the end for my H-E-B career. Funny thing is that I didn’t want to quit because I like my job but my Mat 5:3 was screaming inside that if working on Sunday was a must then I had to leave because that was the right thing to do. Soon I’ll be broke, I’ll miss my job and I’ll want to go back.
Time goes by fast. That was discussed three days ago with Hunt.
Thinking about the age I’m in…
She recalled how one of the teacher’s daughters got married this past weekend and she happened to be 26. Well, 10 years ago, that girl walked into Hunt’s class to learn history. Then she mentioned how the first graduating class of out school was in its junior year in college.
So then I got into my silly thinking about life.
What was I doing ten years ago? Ten years ago I was starting first grade. I literally remember my first day of elementary so clearly… as if it ware yesterday.
What about ten years form now? Where could I be? I could be married. I could have kids. I could be living in some distant corner of the universe. Who knows…?
And then there are the misfortunate events that happen out of nowhere. Like everyone is living their own life doing something different until you bump into them. Then it’s like you join lives or more like you join paths. Lives joined where at some points you wish you would have missed a bus or turned the other way or stayed where you were at or not turned your head or not looked up or missed that phone call. But your life stopped and started and you can’t regret it because you love it.
I think that’s part of growing up; realizing who was worth meeting and keeping and who needs to be let go of. People that you don’t want to let go are the most painful ones to go through and if you endure the wait, you don’t let go. We keep them even if it means to wait.
It’s like when we are babies and our moms put us in a corral. I remember my corral. I liked it a lot too. It was blue and simple and yet it made me happy because I had fun in that little secluded area. So then my mom would leave Ilse and me in there to play while she went about to do her thing but we knew she was there and that she
would come back.
Well at 16 I’m stuck being the mom in a symbolic way. When I come back to get what I left in the corral I will get it for sure. It’s not a matter of question; it’s a matter of fact because 10 years from now, it’s going to be my way.
It’s funny how things just happen. Take for instance my job. The dilemma of quitting came to a resolution after I was scheduled to work on Sunday. That was the end for my H-E-B career. Funny thing is that I didn’t want to quit because I like my job but my Mat 5:3 was screaming inside that if working on Sunday was a must then I had to leave because that was the right thing to do. Soon I’ll be broke, I’ll miss my job and I’ll want to go back.
Time goes by fast. That was discussed three days ago with Hunt.
Thinking about the age I’m in…
She recalled how one of the teacher’s daughters got married this past weekend and she happened to be 26. Well, 10 years ago, that girl walked into Hunt’s class to learn history. Then she mentioned how the first graduating class of out school was in its junior year in college.
So then I got into my silly thinking about life.
What was I doing ten years ago? Ten years ago I was starting first grade. I literally remember my first day of elementary so clearly… as if it ware yesterday.
What about ten years form now? Where could I be? I could be married. I could have kids. I could be living in some distant corner of the universe. Who knows…?
And then there are the misfortunate events that happen out of nowhere. Like everyone is living their own life doing something different until you bump into them. Then it’s like you join lives or more like you join paths. Lives joined where at some points you wish you would have missed a bus or turned the other way or stayed where you were at or not turned your head or not looked up or missed that phone call. But your life stopped and started and you can’t regret it because you love it.
I think that’s part of growing up; realizing who was worth meeting and keeping and who needs to be let go of. People that you don’t want to let go are the most painful ones to go through and if you endure the wait, you don’t let go. We keep them even if it means to wait.
It’s like when we are babies and our moms put us in a corral. I remember my corral. I liked it a lot too. It was blue and simple and yet it made me happy because I had fun in that little secluded area. So then my mom would leave Ilse and me in there to play while she went about to do her thing but we knew she was there and that she
would come back.
Well at 16 I’m stuck being the mom in a symbolic way. When I come back to get what I left in the corral I will get it for sure. It’s not a matter of question; it’s a matter of fact because 10 years from now, it’s going to be my way.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Fotografia
SEE...THIS HAPPENED ON SUNDAY!!!
Today I decided that I wasn't sit around while my parents rested. Today was my day off and I wanted to do something but it just seems like Sundays are the kind of days where everyone either has plans or is in a couch potato mood. That is a huge problem about living in the suburbs in a city that sounds amazing on TV and the magazines but in reality, we are the kind of city that Hollywood won't even think about thinking for a next big sucky movie.
Well it just so happens that my mom made it her job to make some things unreachable but my mind works where in those situations, I want to have the unreachable.
Our pictures are in that kind of setting...
They happen to be in a box in a closet with a bunch of crap on top...!!!
Then I regretted going through all that trouble to get my hands on those albums...
There is absolutely no stage of my life, no person or place that I don't remember.
The funny thing is to believe that that girl was me at some point...Like, "OMG, I looked like that!" or "I remember that" and even "Oh yeah, that's her, I know him!"
And I don't believe it...
The worse part was when I bumped into pictures of people who are physically and emotionally absent in my life.
At that split second, when the moment was captured, everyone in that picture was physically there. At that moment, the situation was real. I was there and I remember every detail but it just doesn't feel real. NONE OF IT!!! I feel as if the present me is the only kind of me that ever existed.
I was there...
I WAS THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I lived that, I felt that, I said that, I did that, and I know it for a fact, I really do!
Everything is that captured moment is real and the people and the things and the place. EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!
Then I realized how limited my mind is to present reality.
Topping it off with the fact that I've gone through some major changes physically and emotionally...
Reason why I'm writing this...
Even the songs of the past carry these thoughts that set me down at my childhood. They are part of my past reality.
That is a picture, a past reality that becomes unreal because no matter how hard you try to relive that moment...the longer you stare, the more unreal it will become.
A fake memory that is reality...
Today I decided that I wasn't sit around while my parents rested. Today was my day off and I wanted to do something but it just seems like Sundays are the kind of days where everyone either has plans or is in a couch potato mood. That is a huge problem about living in the suburbs in a city that sounds amazing on TV and the magazines but in reality, we are the kind of city that Hollywood won't even think about thinking for a next big sucky movie.
Well it just so happens that my mom made it her job to make some things unreachable but my mind works where in those situations, I want to have the unreachable.
Our pictures are in that kind of setting...
They happen to be in a box in a closet with a bunch of crap on top...!!!
Then I regretted going through all that trouble to get my hands on those albums...
There is absolutely no stage of my life, no person or place that I don't remember.
The funny thing is to believe that that girl was me at some point...Like, "OMG, I looked like that!" or "I remember that" and even "Oh yeah, that's her, I know him!"
And I don't believe it...
The worse part was when I bumped into pictures of people who are physically and emotionally absent in my life.
At that split second, when the moment was captured, everyone in that picture was physically there. At that moment, the situation was real. I was there and I remember every detail but it just doesn't feel real. NONE OF IT!!! I feel as if the present me is the only kind of me that ever existed.
I was there...
I WAS THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I lived that, I felt that, I said that, I did that, and I know it for a fact, I really do!
Everything is that captured moment is real and the people and the things and the place. EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!
Then I realized how limited my mind is to present reality.
Topping it off with the fact that I've gone through some major changes physically and emotionally...
Reason why I'm writing this...
Even the songs of the past carry these thoughts that set me down at my childhood. They are part of my past reality.
That is a picture, a past reality that becomes unreal because no matter how hard you try to relive that moment...the longer you stare, the more unreal it will become.
A fake memory that is reality...
Friday, August 7, 2009
Relief
I'm kinda mad at this machine because it keeps acting up... I think it needs a major checkup...
Well today was a good day at service and well just like always it could have been easier but I won't complain.
I think that the best part of today was that I was with a very dear sister and her daughters. I really like them a lot, and just like everyone they all have their slight flaws and whatever but that is not the real reason why I am so happy.
I mean like everyday you find out so many bad things due to our imperfections but in the end it was her words that really made me see things a little bit different. I had already talked to my parents about a recent situation that was making me very unhappy, and even though I can be hard to convince I found a peaceful state of mind in which I could simply just ignore the facts and keep going without wasting my breath.
She just simply made things better.
And she is very right. No matter what everyone says its them killing themselves, not me. So like she said, "Que se maten a pedos". Tough words and nasty too but its the truth.
My life just couldn't get better!
Well today was a good day at service and well just like always it could have been easier but I won't complain.
I think that the best part of today was that I was with a very dear sister and her daughters. I really like them a lot, and just like everyone they all have their slight flaws and whatever but that is not the real reason why I am so happy.
I mean like everyday you find out so many bad things due to our imperfections but in the end it was her words that really made me see things a little bit different. I had already talked to my parents about a recent situation that was making me very unhappy, and even though I can be hard to convince I found a peaceful state of mind in which I could simply just ignore the facts and keep going without wasting my breath.
She just simply made things better.
And she is very right. No matter what everyone says its them killing themselves, not me. So like she said, "Que se maten a pedos". Tough words and nasty too but its the truth.
My life just couldn't get better!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Its a hard time to love
reaching fear
where i dream freadom
i must be silent once more
my words are missing
where everyone speaks
i may be young
yet im not just half
of a plain feeling
im not echo but sound
just a period in the way
what you were once
see me, feel me
i am a reality
not a reflection
and wat i feel is not bad
im just a matter of time
see me, feel me
i am not a dream
im not a mirror
hear me, i am my own extension
im just a matter of time
its a hard time to love
if you make me, i’ll lie
i dont want to hurt you
i must be silent once more
just toughts
because its not time to speak
i may be young
yet im not just half
of a plain feeling
im not echo but sound
just a period in the way
what you were once
feel me, see me
i am a reality
not a reflection
...and wat i feel is not bad...
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