Hey guys! So right now I am on a bed that is like eight feet high...that's like taller than me...and the owner agrees. We are watching me type about how we are still here in the bed all cozy. Now Ilse is going to put her PJ's on. Its about time that I give this up and let someone else do this for me. Not really, I'd never give up writing. Ok so here she is!
Uhm...I'm hot...I think its because I just finished changing. So tonight was fun. (Ilse is talking and distracting me) -laughs- I'm confused on what this is.
Ok so now its me again. Its been a while since I sleep over at some one else's house and I think the reason why is because we are usually always having people over at our house. Its fun I guess and I know that I love it. Its major girl time. So for those of you that are not in the know, this is how it pretty much goes no matter what.
-Eat
-Talk
-Giggle
-Watch some tv/youtube
-Talk
-Talk
-Talk
Reflection of the day ( I feel like I've said this before...) -> a lie is an untold truth or an untold lie. You choose what you make it.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
High Demand
I hate dentists. In fact, I'd rather not ever go. Dentists are worst than Doctors...dentists really just want our money! All I know is that if I floss and brush my teeth at least twice a day I don't need to go see a dentist. Today for example, I went for a semi-anual clean-up. That to me is stupid because all they do is scratch my perfect enamel with this hook looking thing and then brush them with this sandy strawberry paste. And the brush spins really fast and like yeah...I bleed. Oh and let's not forget some agressive flossing...
I'm proud to say two things about my teeth. One is that I have a great enamel and its unlikely that i'll ever get a cavity if I take care of my little enamel. Two is that I have two wisdom teeth showing their pretty faces to the world! Yes, I am officially W.I.S.E. (With Incredibly Sane Experience^_^) ok that was funny...lol... ANYWAYS! So yeah my wisdom teeth don't hurt. However the stupid dentist wants to get rid of my two lower ones!
Here's my problem, wisdom teeth are like an Appendix, unless you get Appendicitis, you don't need to have it removed. My wisdom teeth are minding their own business! My lower one is barely showing its face to the world, and the dentist said it would probably stay like that! Then the other lower one looks tilted in the X-ray but the dentist said it might not come out. So why the heck does he want me to have them removed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I'm a little irritated right now...my teeth still hurt form the cleaning and to top it off I'm a little stressed about my parent's anniversary. They don't know this but Little sister and I got them gifts and we are taking them out to eat...but I have no idea how much they will cooperate or if they will like the gifts we got them...siiiiiigh
I tittled this blog high demand for two reasons. One was because I would like to get braces so that my teeth don't look so eww...I can't help the staining on them because its part of the enamel stuff that won't break so that I won't get cavities. Two is because I received a message on Facebook that made me smile a little and I'm expecting a phone call.
Old habits never die...
I'm proud to say two things about my teeth. One is that I have a great enamel and its unlikely that i'll ever get a cavity if I take care of my little enamel. Two is that I have two wisdom teeth showing their pretty faces to the world! Yes, I am officially W.I.S.E. (With Incredibly Sane Experience^_^) ok that was funny...lol... ANYWAYS! So yeah my wisdom teeth don't hurt. However the stupid dentist wants to get rid of my two lower ones!
Here's my problem, wisdom teeth are like an Appendix, unless you get Appendicitis, you don't need to have it removed. My wisdom teeth are minding their own business! My lower one is barely showing its face to the world, and the dentist said it would probably stay like that! Then the other lower one looks tilted in the X-ray but the dentist said it might not come out. So why the heck does he want me to have them removed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I'm a little irritated right now...my teeth still hurt form the cleaning and to top it off I'm a little stressed about my parent's anniversary. They don't know this but Little sister and I got them gifts and we are taking them out to eat...but I have no idea how much they will cooperate or if they will like the gifts we got them...siiiiiigh
I tittled this blog high demand for two reasons. One was because I would like to get braces so that my teeth don't look so eww...I can't help the staining on them because its part of the enamel stuff that won't break so that I won't get cavities. Two is because I received a message on Facebook that made me smile a little and I'm expecting a phone call.
Old habits never die...
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Testosterone and Male Periods
It's true. I'm not even kidding. Every time I hear it, I realize how true it is even though I've never taken the time to research it. Males have periods too. Let me tell you about my weekend. So these friends invited us to go with them to a little town in near Austin so that we could give encouragement to the local congregation who was affected by the wildfires. To be honest it could have been more relaxing had we not spent so much time driving. When we first got invited I was really exited, I mean I've always wanted to preach in goat/cow territory. We have some territory like that but its not as rural. Well when we got permission it was all great and dandy until I realized that I was going to go out of town without my parents for the first time.
I couldn't tell you if it hut or not when my real umbilical chord was cut, but this time to know that I would be so far away from my mom made my stomach queezy. Not kidding. This was the first time that I slept away form my parents, my mom, and in another city! I won't lie...when I said goodbye I literally almost cried.
Now and again I think about changing my name. My mom likes to over use it....soooo I won't tell her when I change it only because then she will wear out that one too. Like right now, I'm trying to write this but then she keeps telling me to do stuff and I'm like oh my gosh.
Today I have a party to go to. I decided that I'm going to give everyone a second chance to prove me wrong. I want to be proven that inside of everyone there is some goodness and that people are capable of being genuinely good. About four years ago my sister and I wanted to throw this party. Back then we were not aware of the fact that there was a difference between a gathering, a hang out, and a party. To us, it was all the same. I remember getting all exited and inviting all these new friends I had made... oh yeah, I remember, it was after Ike hit and we had been working in the relief committee. Well, after that time, I wanted to have a get together. But then, my mom who was also exited about all these new people decided that she wanted to have to have music to dance....that all went wrong.
First mistake was that I had never been to a house party so we had no idea how the atmosphere was suppposed to roll.
Second mistake was that I let my mom controll the whole thing.
Third mistake was that I didn't invite enough people.
Fourth mistake was that I made too much food.
Fifth mistake was that I had planned for things to go one way but it all didn't happen because no one really showed up and then some people were late.
Sixth mistake was that I actually thought that we were going to dance....
Man, do I regret having lived that day. Ever since that day I do not let my mom organize my events. I also invite a lot of people or none at all. Tomorrow I shall try this again. Except this time I will actually invite a lot of people, in fact, everyone! I don't ever want to go through that kind of humiliation. Even if it doesn't all go the way I want it to go I don't care. At least I will know that I tried.
Here's my next new reflexion: Having all the money in the world blinds appreciation and effort. I don't know what its like to be rich, I've been very close to knowing it and as a third party observer, I don't want that to be my life. I LOVE my job, I love working and living out of my hard work. All my life I've seen all kinds of people work their butts to get just the simplest things in life, and that as a result is plain satisfaction. When I pay school out of pocket without the government adding money to my pocket it makes me feel proud and study harder. One time I was told I would never be able to pay school on my own and I would eventually not finish and I would have to no matter what get grants. When I heard that, I believed it. Now I think its the biggest piece of booty that I've heard. I can do anything I want in any way I manage. Really I'm unstoppable and no man on this earth will get in my way.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Dreams and Reality
I'm out of school so I decided to blog about two dreams that I had last night. The first one I can understand because I was watching The Mentalist last night and it was about a firefighter who was murdered. He was supposed to be a super hero guy and it turned out that the guy he saved from a fire was the one that killed him. So the first part of my dream was a little like that...well something was on fire. I was living in some time of medieval castles or something was the castle, or more like a really big house made of stone, was in the middle of a prairie. My family and I were hiding and then out of nowhere I was getting butter from something outside and I saw smoke, and then everything got really scary because some people that didn't like us were putting fire all around the big stone house, and I freaked out but my dad put out the fire with a tiny sprinkle of water. But I was really scared. Like crying and screaming.
When I was little and living in my little Mexico, my neighborhood was on fire. I don't remember anything except that I woke up at some time in the middle of the night and the first thing I saw was a painting, so I freaked out because I knew I wasn't home. I called out for my mom and got no response and soon the lights came on. I was definitely not home. My mom appeared and I realized we were in the living room of some house with a bunch of other kids. The owner of the house gave us white bread "para el susto" (up till now I still don't understand why...). Then my mom explained to me that everything was ok and I should go back to sleep. The next day I found out what really happened.
Apparently one of the boxes that are on top of the light posts exploded. It was a very big bang according to my parents who were about to go to bed when they heard it. They tried to get us out of the house but the "saguan" or gate was too hot and my dad couldn't open it. Technically we were stuck and could have died, but the way my house was built in Mexico was two houses in L shape put together but not joined on the inside, so our neighbors had opened a door that was attached to the gate and we were able to get out. My mom says that the neighbor mom was freaking out and one of her babies nearly died. They had to throw the baby out the window to save it or something like that...Well, I'm glad that all throughout all that commotion, I was asleep, and so was my sister, well she managed to wake up a little and peek out the blanket she was wrapped in. I don't think she remembers anything but red all over. My dad says that a man burned his hand because a car was going backwards and it was on fire and he tried to stop it with his hand...I think he's an idiot but in cases like that, panic overtakes your actions and its hard to say who's acting out of idiocy and who is acting out of fear.
My second dream must have been tied to my first because I still remember the stone house in some faint way. I needed to get married, I don't know why, but I did. So I was with a very good friend of mine, my best friend (I think) and my sister. We were looking through a yearbook of some kind and I remember asking about all the boys there. But you see, they were high school boys, not boys my age. So then I apparently picked one, I don't know why but I did, I guess I thought I would have time to meet him or fall in love with him, but I was so busy planning the wedding and I forgot who I was going to marry. So the day of the wedding my friend was doing my hair and we started to talk about the guy and I couldn't remember who I picked or why I picked him and no one wanted to tell me, so I began to freak out in a way I have never freaked out before in real life. I literally cried for hours with my mom and she was trying to get this fear out of me but then she said, this is the guy you're going to marry because you picked him, and then I asked if I was allowed to change my mind because I was really scared and not ready to get married to a stranger that I couldn't even remember why I picked him. She said I didn't have to do it so a few hours before the wedding, it got canceled. Then I cried and cried with my mom. Then I tried asking people why I was going to get married and no one would tell me! Then I got tired of the mystery so I woke up.
I don't know why I dreamed this but I'm very stressed out. Like I don't know why but I feel out of breath and I want so badly to know why I needed to get married. What I think about this dream is that I'm scared of getting married to someone that I think I'm in love with and then turns out that I'm not. I don't know...marriage is a big deal, one that you can't get out of so easily. Its a lifetime thing. Like...who in the world am I going to give my life to??? What kind of stranger will I share a life with??? I think that I'm very happy right now being single and enjoying all the freedom that goes with it, but one day I would like to meet someone and be so in love that I won't have a doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with. By the rest of my life, I literally mean forever, a time that is a very long time...its like forever!! So who will I tie the knot with that I will want to be with FOREVER!!! Forever is a long time...
When I was little and living in my little Mexico, my neighborhood was on fire. I don't remember anything except that I woke up at some time in the middle of the night and the first thing I saw was a painting, so I freaked out because I knew I wasn't home. I called out for my mom and got no response and soon the lights came on. I was definitely not home. My mom appeared and I realized we were in the living room of some house with a bunch of other kids. The owner of the house gave us white bread "para el susto" (up till now I still don't understand why...). Then my mom explained to me that everything was ok and I should go back to sleep. The next day I found out what really happened.
Apparently one of the boxes that are on top of the light posts exploded. It was a very big bang according to my parents who were about to go to bed when they heard it. They tried to get us out of the house but the "saguan" or gate was too hot and my dad couldn't open it. Technically we were stuck and could have died, but the way my house was built in Mexico was two houses in L shape put together but not joined on the inside, so our neighbors had opened a door that was attached to the gate and we were able to get out. My mom says that the neighbor mom was freaking out and one of her babies nearly died. They had to throw the baby out the window to save it or something like that...Well, I'm glad that all throughout all that commotion, I was asleep, and so was my sister, well she managed to wake up a little and peek out the blanket she was wrapped in. I don't think she remembers anything but red all over. My dad says that a man burned his hand because a car was going backwards and it was on fire and he tried to stop it with his hand...I think he's an idiot but in cases like that, panic overtakes your actions and its hard to say who's acting out of idiocy and who is acting out of fear.
My second dream must have been tied to my first because I still remember the stone house in some faint way. I needed to get married, I don't know why, but I did. So I was with a very good friend of mine, my best friend (I think) and my sister. We were looking through a yearbook of some kind and I remember asking about all the boys there. But you see, they were high school boys, not boys my age. So then I apparently picked one, I don't know why but I did, I guess I thought I would have time to meet him or fall in love with him, but I was so busy planning the wedding and I forgot who I was going to marry. So the day of the wedding my friend was doing my hair and we started to talk about the guy and I couldn't remember who I picked or why I picked him and no one wanted to tell me, so I began to freak out in a way I have never freaked out before in real life. I literally cried for hours with my mom and she was trying to get this fear out of me but then she said, this is the guy you're going to marry because you picked him, and then I asked if I was allowed to change my mind because I was really scared and not ready to get married to a stranger that I couldn't even remember why I picked him. She said I didn't have to do it so a few hours before the wedding, it got canceled. Then I cried and cried with my mom. Then I tried asking people why I was going to get married and no one would tell me! Then I got tired of the mystery so I woke up.
I don't know why I dreamed this but I'm very stressed out. Like I don't know why but I feel out of breath and I want so badly to know why I needed to get married. What I think about this dream is that I'm scared of getting married to someone that I think I'm in love with and then turns out that I'm not. I don't know...marriage is a big deal, one that you can't get out of so easily. Its a lifetime thing. Like...who in the world am I going to give my life to??? What kind of stranger will I share a life with??? I think that I'm very happy right now being single and enjoying all the freedom that goes with it, but one day I would like to meet someone and be so in love that I won't have a doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with. By the rest of my life, I literally mean forever, a time that is a very long time...its like forever!! So who will I tie the knot with that I will want to be with FOREVER!!! Forever is a long time...
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Nameless
I've been wanting to write about a lot of things. Because a lot of things have been going through my mind. I don't write the way that I used to, its not the same joy. Most of the time I have the tendency to just think. Everyday something happens that makes me be thankful of all the decisions I've taken, the people that are and aren't in my life, and the beliefs I have. I've changed for the better. To be honest, I think I really like the way that I am, not looking back at my past has helped me live in the present and look forward to the future. Its like all of a sudden, everything that I want, I don't just want it for no reason, I want it badly and for the most incredible reasons. I don't want that part of me to change because it makes sense. I like things that make sense, and lacking a personality, letting other people control our lives, and being part of the crowd does not make sense.
I lack patience though. That is a problem. But I don't mind it. I'm bored with what I have now at this moment, like as if I was looking for something or someone. There's a hollow feeling in me that I cannot explain but I ignore it most of the time. What doesn't make sense now, will make sense later.
I know when I meet the right person, it will be because they have looked for me as much as I have looked for them.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Random Nonsense
kimbara kimbara kimbara kim ba kim bon bon
kimbara kimbara kimbara kim ba kim bon bon
kimbara kimbara kimbara kim ba kim bon bon
ehhhhhhhh mamaaaaaa
ehhhhhhhh mamaaaaaa
ANYWAYS
Today marks the day that I will tell you a secret. Not really...
My special little someone gave me a cutie patootie ring
^-^ hehe
I'm so happy. Here's a secret: I hate rings!!!
But because we are talking about someone that I love soooooooo much, I've promised to wear it.
I said I wouldn't blog about it. BUT I didn't promise. Laugh out loud. I got an angry birds hat and I loooove it. You know something reader? This is the shortest blog I've ever written, because I'm happy that I'm happy.
kimbara kimbara kimbara kim ba kim bon bon
kimbara kimbara kimbara kim ba kim bon bon
ehhhhhhhh mamaaaaaa
ehhhhhhhh mamaaaaaa
ANYWAYS
Today marks the day that I will tell you a secret. Not really...
My special little someone gave me a cutie patootie ring
^-^ hehe
I'm so happy. Here's a secret: I hate rings!!!
But because we are talking about someone that I love soooooooo much, I've promised to wear it.
I said I wouldn't blog about it. BUT I didn't promise. Laugh out loud. I got an angry birds hat and I loooove it. You know something reader? This is the shortest blog I've ever written, because I'm happy that I'm happy.
Friday, September 30, 2011
The New Me Still Likes PINK
Oh its been so long since my last blog. But I tell you this reader, I feel so different now. Let me give you an account to what has passed through my mind in this long space of time. For one I'm in college, which I have learned to love. I say learned because I do like that I go to school four out of five days and I like my classes except for one and I like my teachers except for one. I also don't go the whole day, just three hours and one and a half hours and well you get the point. I'm also working taking care of 'chillum' after school. There's lots of love within those kids and yet some of them I can't stand...or their parents. I drive by myself as well. Whoop whoop. But I only drive to school and work. I'm still waiting for the glorious day when I will be able to pick up my friends and hang out or drive to the movies or just hang out with my sister; actually we do that sometimes but its more out of necessity, like today, when I'm supposed to take her to buy jeans even though I don't want to because she hasn't been the most cooperable person lately. Oh and currently I feel sick. I'm not sure if one of the kids gave me something or if its just allergies but in general, school, work and now my not-so-well-being makes me lose a lot of sleep. I'm tired.
You know what else reader? I'm tired of a lot of things. Here's one thing I'm REALLY tired of: Begging. Ok, not begging by its definition, but let me break it up so you understand. I don't beg the way a dog will beg its master to play with it or feed it. I don't smother myself like a cat on a person's leg to get it to pet the cat. I also don't beg like a child to its parent while at the store to get the parent to buy him something. That's the kind of begging I don't do. Here's the begging I will attempt to do:
'You're wrong. I'm right.' "No. Go away. I'm right." ' But...!' "I said no!" 'Fine be that way!' *turns out I was right* "I'm sorry..." 'ok' "will you be my friend?" 'HA! Good one' *I walk away*.
I won't sit there and watch you be wrong. EVENTUALLY I get tired of watching people mess up even though I told them they were wrong. This hurts me, watching a mistake being done. When it turns out I'm right, I won't not forgive you, but I won't trust you. That is my new logic. I understand, and you reader should understand this too because its important, that people are not perfect, they make mistakes. A FRIEND will not sit there and watch. I can't sit there and watch. Friendship is about forgiving, and forgetting. Oh wait, but at what cost? You can't sit here and tell me that you have kept ALL the friends you had since the day you met them. Everyone has had to filter out friendships. I guess this is my filter.
Like last week, my mom killed a roach with insecticide but for some stupid reason it made me sad. Raid doesn't kill roaches right away as they claim because I stood there watching the poor roach miserably trying to die. Trying! I don't care that its an animal or a disgusting insect without a conscience or logic, it suffered its death because it was never taught to not go inside a house. Its a plague and we are allowed and justified to kill plagues, but it was suffering! I literally cried over the roach's death. And its a roach! A disgusting little creature that minds its own business because its mind does not allow it to think that he or she is in danger!
I've taken a new standing in my life. I think I've made way too many mistakes to not realize that I'm wrong when I'm wrong. No one likes to be wrong but that is just something that we live with every day. Here's something that I thought of last night, I don't think I can get married. Its not that I don't want to, I really do in fact. Its just that I think I can't. Marriage is a HUGE life commitment. Marriage is not like a pair of shoes that you try on and wait until you find the right one. I don't know if I lost hope in all of love but I do think that I don't want to be alone. Being alone has always been one of my greatest fears, I don't know why, I just don't like it. I don't like people much, but like ugh! READER be patient with me, I haven't written for the lack of time and because I was afraid of criticism, now I could care less. Ok, so I don't think I can get married. I was thinking, what if I don't wanna tell my husband something? Something like that I consider it to be mine that happened when I was wee little and living in my little Mexico? Or what if its something that I don't remember but I was told it happened to me and I don't want him to know? Can I have MY thoughts or do they have to be OUR thoughts? I do wonder who will be the person that I will want to tell all of myself to...or if they will earn the right to know...
Thus the words of a cynic.
Here's my friendship cycle:
Meet -> Examine -> Study -> Examine -> Conclude its personality -> love -> Some mo' love -> Too much love -> Annoyance -> Acceptance -> FRIENDSHIP.
or or
hate and leave. annoyance and leave.
I have my first official-in-college tests starting Monday. Oh and I never caught up to the reading. One of my textbooks needs an access code for some stupid website and it didn't come with the code so I'm supposed to buy it. I think I can take a C for that class.
You know what else reader? I'm tired of a lot of things. Here's one thing I'm REALLY tired of: Begging. Ok, not begging by its definition, but let me break it up so you understand. I don't beg the way a dog will beg its master to play with it or feed it. I don't smother myself like a cat on a person's leg to get it to pet the cat. I also don't beg like a child to its parent while at the store to get the parent to buy him something. That's the kind of begging I don't do. Here's the begging I will attempt to do:
'You're wrong. I'm right.' "No. Go away. I'm right." ' But...!' "I said no!" 'Fine be that way!' *turns out I was right* "I'm sorry..." 'ok' "will you be my friend?" 'HA! Good one' *I walk away*.
I won't sit there and watch you be wrong. EVENTUALLY I get tired of watching people mess up even though I told them they were wrong. This hurts me, watching a mistake being done. When it turns out I'm right, I won't not forgive you, but I won't trust you. That is my new logic. I understand, and you reader should understand this too because its important, that people are not perfect, they make mistakes. A FRIEND will not sit there and watch. I can't sit there and watch. Friendship is about forgiving, and forgetting. Oh wait, but at what cost? You can't sit here and tell me that you have kept ALL the friends you had since the day you met them. Everyone has had to filter out friendships. I guess this is my filter.
Like last week, my mom killed a roach with insecticide but for some stupid reason it made me sad. Raid doesn't kill roaches right away as they claim because I stood there watching the poor roach miserably trying to die. Trying! I don't care that its an animal or a disgusting insect without a conscience or logic, it suffered its death because it was never taught to not go inside a house. Its a plague and we are allowed and justified to kill plagues, but it was suffering! I literally cried over the roach's death. And its a roach! A disgusting little creature that minds its own business because its mind does not allow it to think that he or she is in danger!
I've taken a new standing in my life. I think I've made way too many mistakes to not realize that I'm wrong when I'm wrong. No one likes to be wrong but that is just something that we live with every day. Here's something that I thought of last night, I don't think I can get married. Its not that I don't want to, I really do in fact. Its just that I think I can't. Marriage is a HUGE life commitment. Marriage is not like a pair of shoes that you try on and wait until you find the right one. I don't know if I lost hope in all of love but I do think that I don't want to be alone. Being alone has always been one of my greatest fears, I don't know why, I just don't like it. I don't like people much, but like ugh! READER be patient with me, I haven't written for the lack of time and because I was afraid of criticism, now I could care less. Ok, so I don't think I can get married. I was thinking, what if I don't wanna tell my husband something? Something like that I consider it to be mine that happened when I was wee little and living in my little Mexico? Or what if its something that I don't remember but I was told it happened to me and I don't want him to know? Can I have MY thoughts or do they have to be OUR thoughts? I do wonder who will be the person that I will want to tell all of myself to...or if they will earn the right to know...
Thus the words of a cynic.
Here's my friendship cycle:
Meet -> Examine -> Study -> Examine -> Conclude its personality -> love -> Some mo' love -> Too much love -> Annoyance -> Acceptance -> FRIENDSHIP.
or or
hate and leave. annoyance and leave.
I have my first official-in-college tests starting Monday. Oh and I never caught up to the reading. One of my textbooks needs an access code for some stupid website and it didn't come with the code so I'm supposed to buy it. I think I can take a C for that class.
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