Dopamine

I learned this in psych over the summer:

Bipolar people tend to have weird dopamine levels. Dopamine is the hormone our bodies produce that give us that "happy" feeling. Therefore, in order to compensate for the abnormal levels of dopamine in a bipolar person, doctors usally prescribe them dopamine drugs so they are "happy". Dopamine however is addicting. Eventually the doses need to be increased and then you end up being high on this drug that when it wears off, you crash. They become unstable and depressed and even have suicidal thoughts. Bipolar people suffer a lot becase they cannot control their states and periods of time of happiness or sadness. That, simply, just hurts.

 

 

Or something along those lines. That sounds about accurate so I will use dopamine today to respond to What's the meaning of this?  You see reader, there are a lot of ways that people can be forgotten. One of them is not dying. I say this because when someone dies, they cannot be replaced. They obtain the ultimate irreplaceable status. However, anyone CAN be replaced when they turn into a dopamine friendship. This kind of friendship is absolutely the most dangerous one because you cannot discern when things are ok and when they are not. It's like being on a high of happiness and all your senses are blurred and you cannot tell when those friends are actually hurting you more than what they are helping you.

 

 

Take for example what has happened to me lately. For a very long time, I've felt like I didn't belong to a group. I really wanted to be part of something special, I wanted to be in a family of friends like on TV (yeah yeah its cheesy, so what?!) Over the years, I've had many friends, some that I became really close to very fast and later turned into toxic friendships. Those are the kind that hurt you right away like poison. I've also had older friendships that I can count on for anything. Then there are those acquaintance friendships that I only see on a full moon. There are my long-distance frienships, my spiritual friendships and my party friendships. However, I still felt like a stranger. They say that if you can count one friend in one hand, you're lucky. I didn't think this to make sense until recently when I realized that friendship is not about hanging out and having fun. Its not about talking or knowing about someone's past. Friendship is about never giving up one someone's imperfections.

 

Dopamine friendships are different on a different scale.

 

When I was little I thought I would stay friends forever with my school friends. Turns out that all I have from them is a picture and some fun memories. I don't have any childhood friends. I only have friends that date back to my high school years and one friend that dates back to my junior high years. What that tells me is that if my friendships are not stable NOW,  I won't be friends with them in four or five years.

 

Honestly I think that is what is going to happen with my dopamine friendships. I can just see it all blow over in a couple of years. Right now it all seems so good and happy and perfectly fun. Yeah, well that is until all the lies started to sprout like weeds on a very pretty garden. Its all full of beautiful flowers all over and at first you can't see the weeds, all you can focus on are the flowers. However, if you look closely, you will see the weeds growing. Weeds grow fast and if they are not pulled by the root, they keep growing.

 

Just beause I feel happy right now, just because I feel part of something special, of a group, that doesnt' mean anything. All tha means is that for now, I have people to lean on when I want to hang out. But what do they know of me? What do they know about my difficult attitude? I mean my personallity is they kind that you either like or hate. There is no in between. And let's not even begin on my multiple crushes all at the same time. Or how about my dirty past? Everyone has a dirty past, but will they take me for my mistakes? I'm on a dopamine friendship high right now, but what about when I crash. When the dopamine stops coming into my body, will I be depressed, just like real dopamine?

 

 

I don't want dopamine friendships. I just want real friends. Not like the friends in the Young People Ask video. I mean, those are nice, but they are somewhat superficial. My mom is always telling me to expand my group of friends. Then she tells me not to trust people. Well...that is a very big conflict and I'm like, " how the heck to I make friends???" I can't remember how it happened with some of my recent real friends. I just know that one day I woke up, I was at the right place at the right time and then it just happened. It was like finding money in your jeans out of nowhere.  Well...I'm here to stay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm liking this video tagging thing on my blog :) All rights to the author(s)!!! No copyright intended.