Accomplished Happiness

Today is Monday December 27, 2010. That means that in four days it will no longer be 2010. It will be the year 2011, the year my class graduates and we become big kids that go to college and have lives. I feel so old. A long time ago, this one person I'd like to call my best friend, told me that as time goes by, time goes by faster, and the faster it went by, the more I would realize that I was maturing...or something like that...or maybe it was something like, the faster time seemed to go by the more adult I'd become. The point is that I'm beginning to feel the words hunting me. All of a sudden I'm not five years old, and I wonder, WHERE DID ALL THAT TIME GO?!

The new and improved me is still human though. I have a hard time reaching my goals, mostly because I don't always have the encouragement that I would like to get. So all of a sudden I feel as if I must buckle up and get it together to do what I want...alone. I really have no problem doing it by myself, as long as I don't bump into the whole you can't do that until I go with you. Then I feel like poop on toast...
However, after so much begging and show of interest, I finally achieved my ultimate goal. Three weeks ago, I visited the French congregation for the first time after two years of wanting to go. I can't drive ALONE so I have to depend on my parents to do that because no one else was willing to take me. There were a few offers but they were a little young to my parent's standards. The other thing that I'm really happy about is that I have a pupil. I've always wanted to teach this little girl something because when I see her, I see myself. I cannot even begin to describe how smart she is and how quickly she learns. She just gets things on the spot no matter how difficult they are. For her age she is just amazing! Hence the fact that I think she is like me (NO BRAGGING INTENDED). She is the mirror image of me when I was a child. I love this girl to death and I do not ever want to lose any contact with her. I can stop talking to the whole world, just not her.

Like many people who were amazed when they found out I was learning french, she asked me to say something. It all started with me telling her J'ai mal a la gorge (IDK how to put the accent on the a). Her mom came up to me and complained how she couldn't get her and the girl's little sister to stop saying J'ai mal a la gorge. To the poor mother it was an annoyance. But the girl soon started to ask more things. The more she asked, the more she liked the language. Eventually, when I did go to the French congregation, she came along as well. Everyone is so nice there and very welcoming. So unlike what my friend described it as...definitely they are not critical...
Well yesterday, I did what I felt has been the most grand accomplishment ever. I gave my first comment in French. And not only one, but two, and in my own words! Of course I felt as if my heart would burst out of my chest and my legs were shaking and I was breathless and all these other crazy feelings, but I did so well. I found out alone that I'm no so bad. I'm actually kinda good...I believe I AM REALLY GOOD. I don't need anyone to put me down, so I bring myself up.

Lately I've had to do a lot of bringing myself up. Like this big knot in my chest was tied and its really tangled so I have to undo it. It really feels great to do something right and specially something that I've been wanting to do for so long. The best part was that I didn't need anyone. I did it alone. I know what I want and what I have to do to get it. I will do it.

On the other hand however, I discovered that some people really have the audacity to carry out some really crazy and uncalled for things. Then again I suppose that is what makes them stupid.