La Vaisselle

Everyone is enjoying the last of their meals. What ever it was, pasta, chicken, or even leftovers, what makes it taste so good is the mood. Around the table everyone shares a bit of their day, the most outstanding events. The mood is relaxed, humorous, and even nonchalant. As the meals are being finished, dishes are being picked up to be washed and put away. At this point, something bitter penetrates the atmosphere making it hard to breathe. What is it? What in the world could possibly disrupt a family dinner?

Pride.

I've seen this happen over and over, not just in the above scenario, but in many other occasions. The reason why I am writing this is because as I am sitting in my room, I'm thinking of all kinds of reasons as to why I haven't written in the past two months. Let me just say that I don't consider myself to be pridefull, but I am also not perfect. I have my flaws and one of them at times is my pride. But let us begin to examine this aspect of life by defining its meaning. To me there are two types of pride: the kind that makes you feel all bubbly and pink inside because you did something good and the kind that blinds your reasoning skills and doesn't allow you to face a mistake. Very opposite right? How can pride be good and bad at the same time? Well, pride is a little green monster inside of us. I mean, we all feel great because we got a good grade, or because we gave CPR to a fainted child. My point is, the good kind of pride makes you want to write a book about your accomplishments. Its the kind of feeling that if the whole world was doing something right, we would all get along. Its the good kind of bragging. You walk into the room with your chin held high and you want to say, "yes, I did that and I'm so proud of it."

The bad pride hurts.

It hurts no matter how much you apologize. Why? Because you don't apologize. The little green monster inside will wrap its little green claws around the other person's feelings until the other person breaks in two. Two nasty little parts: the mind and the heart. The bad kind of pride doesn't feel bad for hurting someone because in their mind, what they did, or said, was right. No matter how much they hurt the other person. Like racism. White people thought they were better and abused their slaves and when the slaves were free, they were too proud to say I'm sorry. The bad pride turns people into jerks. The kind of jerks everyone hates. Yeah, I said hate and I'll say it again, people hate jerks! JERKS!!!

JERK JERK JERK JERK JERK=HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

Its good to say that although I have a lot of pride in my accomplishmets, I'm not too proud to apologize. I know when I'm wrong. I can admit when I'm wrong. There may be one single person in this little planet that will tell you otherwise. Yet, I disagree. I can tell you right away if I am wrong. I am not perfect and the fact that people think that I can manage it all breaks my heart. I'm not plastic you know? I'm a human with feelings and goals. I'm a human that makes mistakes, thinks bad thoughts and says bad things. That's how imperfect I am. I can't do everything even thought I pretend to. I cannot be forced to be Ms. Social-Nice-Good Example.

If there is one thing that I hate more than pride are assumptions but you my reader, already know that. Anyone who assumes I am excellen at everything I do is obviously not close to me. You got to know me in order to predict me. I don't like everyone, I will not talk to everyone and I will not, no matter what, approve of anyone who is too proud to say I'm sorry.