On a cold morning like today I stopped to think about a lot of things I've been thinking about. One of them is that I have been dared. Yes ladies and jerks. I, Pink Lady, have been told I cannot lose 15 pounds. Well guess what? Now I'm not doing it for my original purpose (which was to impress my crush); I'm now doing it to prove my friend that I can do it! I have until the last day of December. If I win, he gives me 50 bucks, if I don't win, he gets the lovely joy of knowing he was right. At first I was like, "oh yeah 15 pounds, that's easy!" I even said I'd go running every morning for one hour and not feed my body junk. Well, so far I've been putting it off. I still have time! I have lots and lots of time...
Which brings me to my next point: I have yet to prove to myself that I can actually complete a long-term task.
Deciding that I wanted to be a teacher took me about one day. Yeah, I just woke up and decided that I liked school so much that I would spend the rest of my life in it. Literally. So I followed in the steps of my aunt and as soon as I graduated high school, I went to get an education to become a teacher. For all that time, I only changed my mind once, thinking that maybe I could be a cosmetologist because I like make-up so much. Well I was wrong because I don't like to touch people's heads. And I don't like dandruff either. Or baldness...but I'm over baldness a little because typically men lose all their hair by the time they wrinkle to a raisin. I do hope strongly that I don't have to see my husband wrinkle to a raisin. Or my dad.
So that one was easy. But there are a lot of things that I start and never finish...
Here's a list
1.Writing "Where I really Belong"
2. Reading the Bible
3. Reading a whole theocratic book (actully I did read the whole yearbook for the 2012 year but I always start a new book and never finish. And it does not include the books for the book study)
4. Never finished a pillow that was supposed to be for my cousin
5. Didn't move to the French when I turned 18
6. Didn't move out of my house when I turned 18
7. Didn't finish community college in a year
8. I was pulled out of ballet class and now I obsess with ballet without being able to learn to dance it
9. I have unfinished blogs
10. Being a vegetarian didn't work. Only lasted two months...
But that's just some of my big failures in life. I know I can accomplish them, I just can't ever get my head around how to actually get these things done. So I am constantly frustrated with myself. I mean, my room is a mess! But amazingly at work, I have to have everything in place! At school, everything is in perfect order. Everything in my life runs by minutes, seconds. So in my room I just let go. Even then I still have crisis where I just NEED to yell at someone. My bucketlist is on a permanent hold. So how can I have time for people?
Apparently I'm very mean and don't have friends. That may be true but only because I don't intend to be nice to people that don't care about me. That sounds mean already. Well I don't have the energy to trust someone with my kindness...sad face.
I went through my contact list and gave the following labels to make myself feel better
a= acquaintance
f= friend
F= adult friend
bf= best friend
-=pending relationship (only one person has this)
ld= long-distance friend
Maybe what my life needs is a dude...
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