Sucker Punch

The bad thing about getting paid once a month is that you literally have crumbs of money at the end of the month. Its hard, but it teaches you serious money management skills. I call it, my budget cut. When I started again on my "school year job" I assumed I was already a pro at budget cutting. Only too bad for me because I was still in summer mode and now I have to get by with $15 for the month of September. Turns out that the company decided to not pay us for two weeks of work and some orientation work days for August until September. Meanwhile I have to pay for textbooks, tuition, gas toilettries, food, and miscellaneous expenses. I hate borrowing money from my parents because that makes me seem less independent but I think they want me to borrow for them...they get mad if I don't. My tuition is due September 24...I'm going to die if I have to ask for money..

Anyways, so amongst my summer mode expenses, I made some purchases designated to a party that took place this past Saturday. Let me tell you that I was not at all exited about this party because I would be seeing that friend that I told you about in my recent blog. Well, we ended up being friends again because he is just one of those people I can't be mad at forever. He's just cool like that. It just goes to say that my Love was right and I need to be patient. So at this party I had beautiful red sparkly toes that cost $20, a dress that was $60, a perfume that was $65( I got a free tote with this purchase!), red lipstich that was $6, and some jewlry that I didn't end up wearing. Oh and I still have to pay alterations wich is $16. So that totals the amount of....about $170. Then again, I did look awesome and had a really good time. Happy face.

But it was at the party that I did something that I am not too proud of. You see, I know from rules that as a girl you are never supposed to turn down a guy when he asks you to dance. It does all these negative things to the guy's self-esteem or whatever. I try really hard to not say no, but sometimes I just have too. ESPECIALLY if the guy is like 30 with a mustache and bad dressing skill. (...eww..) So yeah, I know I am not supposed to say no, not even maybe later. I'm supposed to just suck it up and do it. I'm the girl, so my part of dancing just requires me to follow what the guy is doing. Sounds easy but guys can make it really, really hard. HARD!!! So there I was standing, sweating my pretty face, fanning myself with a plate looking for a victim. When I saw the guy comming up to me I grabbed my friend and was like "OMG dance! Now, come on please dance with me, I'm running away" and he starts acting like an idiot on the spot while the other guy is now looking towards me with all the intentions of asking me to dance. I pull my friend and thank goodness because it was just on time! I told him I didn't want to dance with that guy because he doesn't dance well and its super awkward and he's really tall. Then we laughed. Hahaha. Only too bad because a while later he came back and cought me off guard. I simply said, "let me cool down and we will later." Later never came.Yeah, yeah, I know what you are saying, I am a duchebag. What can I do? Tell him my dad said I couldn't dance with boys? I mean I'm knocking on my twenties and by dancing with other guys that would have made me the biggest liar. That's not the worst of it..

Later on we were dancing Step in the name of Love. I do like this dance but it always makes me nervous. If you are unaware of how this dance goes, its like this: You start off by doing some line dance. Step, step, slide, step step slide, step front, step front, step hold, cross cross cross. Or something like that. Well that's the easy part, no pressure, but halfway trough the song, you have to get with a partner. That's the part that makes me nervous because if  you don't find a partner before this part, you are bound to end up alone. Or with someone. What I find scary about this song is that I feel like, what if that other person doesn't want to dance with you? What if they are some creepy person? What if they don't know the partner steps? What if they think I'm weird becasue I turned around and "forced them" to be my partner? So to play safe I stayed close to my sister and started to partner thing with her. And then she ditched me. Just like that! She went to dance with a little girl that had no partner. She mumbled some words to me and then I realized that next to me was a guy with no partner. So I ran away. Literally. I ran out of the dance floor and sat with my parents. Poor guy just stood there looking at the floor. I mean, why didn't he approach me? Why couldn't my sister be the one to go with the guy and me with the little girl? When it comes to guys, I have little confidence, I don't like to throw myself out there. Sorry guys, I will not make the first move. The rest of the party I continued to think of the guy's face. It was a very sad and left-out face. Like a puppy that wants to play and no one pays attention to it. Not only did I feel pathetic, I felt embarrassed because I ran. Maybe because the guy was good-looking, but still. I ran away. Like Cinderella when its midnight. Only my shoes were tied to my ankles so I didn't leave a glass slipper behind. Not like the guy would have made an attempt to look for me anyways.

On a more simple note, I have my first few test of the semester coming up. I didn't go to class today because I woke up nauceous and with pain in my stomach like I had gotten punched, probably because of my pills. We also have CO visit this week, yay! Oh and I'm in debt. If by November I can recover, I'd like to go camping. Its one of those things I have avoided all my life because I feel little appreciation of the outdoors. However, its also one of those things I feel I should experience before I die. Plus I want to have a Marmalade Boy moment!
:P