In My Memory

In all honesty to heart, I would like to say that this blog is intended for a formality. I'm not sure if there is a legality tied to it, but if ther is , good, if not, then its ok. A while ago, a friend of mine died. She was young and healthy. Or so we thought. She was about my age at the time. Probably 18 or 19. I thought of her as an example to me even though we were not close. She lived in a little town far away from the city and she attended the French congregation. She was also a pioneer. I've probably mentioned before why I moved to the French, but she was one big huge motivation, and still is. One day, she went to the hospital for something minor, like a headache or stomachache. Something minor. She was released and then went back because she wasn't feeling well still and then she...just...died. It was honestly the most traumatic news I've received. Its really, really sad when people only call when someone dies. It was the spring of my senior year in high school and when my mom told us, it really shocked us more than anything. Even though we were not close, I still thought of her as an example to me and I had made plans to visit the French with her. It was so fast. No one had a chance to process. So we went to school and that's when I broke down. To make matters worse, my French teacher was being unreasonable and would not let me leave class to talk to another teacher. I really disliked that woman and more so after that day.

I've always told my Jedi Master that I would like to die in service. Yes I am writing about this with a little bit of sentiment and a tear in my eye. Death can happen so fast. Even in our sleep. So this morning I got a text from a friend in Chicago and he was telling me how much he appreciates me. I thought he was telling me this because he was getting disfellowshipped. So I panicked a little (everyone seems to be getting disfellowshipped lately...sigh...), then he told me that one of his friends died over the weekend. And so we got into talking about our death wishes.

I do think this is important and I am being very serious. I know it may seems morbid to some, but there is a specific way tha I want things to be carried out in the case of my death. No one wants to die or think about dying, but its a life fact. People don't die from being old. People die every day for any given reason. So here are my wishes.

1. I've appointed two people to verify that this is accurate and there is no need to mention them because only they know.
2. Dying is very expensive. So I would like to impose the least amount of debt to my family. I would like to either be cremated or burried in satin on a bed of roses. Also if, the latter, it needs to be closed caskett. No one needs to see me in my shribbled, decaying state. I want people to remember me as I was in life and not in death.
3. I want everyone to write their favorite memory of me and I want to be burried with those notes. When I wake up, I want to read them. So if my parents decide to cremate me, they have to get a box or jar big enough to put all my notes with me.
4. I really want people to remember me as the person that I was in life and not of a sad memory of my funeral or memorial service. Therefore, I would like people to dance. I want them to have fun because I loved having fun. I know people will want to cry and its ok to cry. However, an old friend told me we should rejoyce in the death of someone because their suffering is over. When they wake up, everything will be new and perfect. That is exactly what I want. I want people to celebrate my life accomplishments. I don't want people to go home and cry over me. So dance and rejoyce, for I have ran my race and finished it. I would love for all my loved ones to live their pain, but not the day of my memorial. I hate memorial services. They make me cry and then I end up hating the song we sang. Please. Not for me.
5. In this celebration of my life, I want people to eat mediterranean food, cookies, and tea. Because that is what I loved. This way, people will talk about the things they know I liked and they will remember all the good happy moments they had with me. No one needs to be talking about how I died. That is way too sad.
6. No roses allowed for decoration. I like lillies and orchids and tulips. The bed of roses is for my own self that one  one will see.
7. At the memorial, everyone wear pink or white. Black is again, too depressing.
8. I want all my things to be sold so that the money can be donated to the Watchtower. My sister might want to keep some of my stuff and she can if she wants to, but everything else gets sold. My mother has to keep my teddy bears. She will know which ones.
9. No Instagram vidoes of me or "RIP" pictures either. Or on Facebook. My sister and my friend in Chicago can make a memorial video of me but it is not to get published on any social website.
10. My best friend gets Where I Really Belong. My sister knows where to find that.
11. My friend form Chicago will be in charge of the maintenance and upkeep of my blog.
12. Coco gets everything back. My friend from Chicago knows why.
13. My friend from Chicago wants my diploma. He can have it...I guess. Its not important but he helped me through college, I suppose he deserves it.
14. My memorial talk will have to be given in Spanish and translated to English. My heart is in French but my family wouldn't understand it. Besides, I love Spanish more than anything. I cannot assing someone to give my talk. The Spanish elders know me best but I love my French elders the most. So whoever is capable but that knew me well.
15. The thing I hate most about memorials and funerals is when people ask the family and close friends "How are you?" as if that wasn't an inferred question. So. That is the purpose of 3,4, and 5. Also, I don't want anyone to attend the burrial. That is perhaps the saddest of all things in this life. So no public burrial. No sad memories of me. Where ever it is that my parents live, I want to be taken with them. When I wake up, I want them to be there. I don't know how resurrection is going to be, but this is the way I want it, just in case.

I realize a lot of this may not sound serious but I have my personal reasons for wanting it to be this way. Which is why I appointed two people to make sure it gets done. I also know that we live in the end of this system so circumstances may vary. In an ideal situation, the above is the way I want things done, but if it cannot, then I understand. Since this is a blog and I can edit it as many times as I want, I will probably modify my wishes with time. I just want to leave things in formal writing in case I die in the next few seconds. I want to take this opportunity to tell my family that I love them beyond reason. I want to thank them for being there for me in thick and thin and for all the good things they taught me, for all the kindness they showed me and for all they loved me. I want to thank my friends for being my friends and understanding me. I love them very much as well . I would like to apologize to anyone I've hurt and hopefully they can forgive me so we can be friends in Paradise.
To all my teachers, thank you for all the lessons taught. To my kids, for all the love and patience they had with me. In an ideal world, this would just be a silly blog. However, this is not an ideal world.

As closing, I would like to thank my audience. Anyone who wants to remember me can come to this blog and read my thoughts and feelings and emotions. Honestly, this is the way I want to be rememberd.